8 frivolous *shocks* of creative defibrillation
A listicle week of mind-reviving pleasures; scattered mishmash of non-sequitur creative stimulus; unpacking intel from a fav dream-textured world builder writer/director.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe the act of sitting in front of a computer screen and typing away in some nerdy interface made by nerds has generated so many inimitable works of cinema. I mean, heaps of the most genre-bending, visually iconoclastic movies started in front of the humble screen.
I also find it utterly absurd that it’s entirely within reason, during this crucial, often solitary step to pick your nose..or any orifice for that matter, flash an odious sneer at spiraling intervals, listen to music at the loudest volume and sing along, or order delivery without sharing a LICK; all in a day’s work. It’s the kind of flexibility that feels like a privilege. But it’s also a curse, trapping us between embodied, analog thought and structured digital expression. Ruts in this liminal space are unavoidable.
If I am to regard anyone as a prime embodiment of success forged in front of a computer screen, whose genre-bending, experimentally distinctive films exist in bespoke worlds defined by characters who’ve lived their lives through media that shaped their identity, that person would be Jane Schoenbrun.
If you’ve seen The World’s Fair or I Saw The TV Glow then you understand me when I say, the work they produce seems impossible without a boundless labyrinth of inner-worlds, each configured to accommodate their visceral, hermetic experiences of early life as a trans person during the internet age. So, it more than follows that Jane describes their work as “from the subconscious,” finding ideas and images within themselves and trying their best “not to overthink it” all. But they don’t just listen to their subconscious, they honor it. As Jane told Autostraddle in a 2022 interview: “Any time I’m waking up remembering a dream, especially when it’s happening over a period of time, I tend to listen. That’s my subconscious serving me something I need to figure out. ( . . . ) Conscious thought is a very limited way to walk through life and developing tools through which you can listen to your subconscious will lead toward a much more fulfilling existence.” [Source: Autostraddle, April 13, 2022]
Given these imaginal, abstracted strategies from the writer/director of the new and anticipated, Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma, I’ve come to think that success in the computer screen period of the process mostly falls upon opposing the descent into the overthinking impasse, and in turn strengthening access to the grassy green pathways of the “anything could happen” mentality.
To break such ground, a lofty reset feels in order. One that conjures up the power of stepping away and catching the vibe again. So, I’ve developed a list I think Jane would approve of.
Reading your old journals
Revisiting the most volcanic moments of expressive urgency isn’t exactly a joyride. In fact, it’s torturous. It reminds you of the bygone, or thoroughly ossified, patterns of the young mind. But if you’re lucky enough to have such a rich archive of trying times or boisterous reflection, you’d be down right wrong to watch it collect dust indefinitely. If and when you do decide to sift through, you’ll be rewarded with a token to an emotional time-machine.
Misc. Side Projects
A side project is an escape from obligation into willful adventure. This could be anything from enhancing the utility of an everyday accessory (see image above) or escaping into a different script that’s been on the back burner, an offramp Jane admitted to in Autostraddle: “Like a psycho, I procrastinate by writing the next next thing.”
Find something provocative in nature
…and snap a pic. Keep it. Stare at it. Imagine its complex origins. On a morning stroll last week, I saw this cacti plant with arrestingly fungi-like spores in bright yellow hues. How does something so drably green and rough around the edges decide to peacock to such extremes? What does this specimen look like on the inside? I could go on, but the point is, nature is mesmerizing, sure. But these expressionistic, spontaneous sightings offer an unsettling beauty, unmatched by anything else. Or anything under a roof at least.
Make a meal (from the heart)
The heart wants what it wants. Counsel with yours. Make that sandwich you saw on instagram. Fail at it and munch on the sack of walnuts in your ingredient ass apartment. It’s a win-win; you either end up with an edible sandwich or the satisfaction of dauntless trial and error.
Find a CURSED image.
The edge-seekingly curious act of digging through the dark tunnels of the internet for imagery that jolts the senses (non-perniciously!) is a lost art. I still think about the, now ancient, version of YouTube, when the algorithm wasn’t views-based. The corollary is clear: the automated, systematized nature of the internet today has replaced that of the whimsically pragmatic 90s era sites developed by users themselves around hyper-specific interest groups. Early-internet style adventure and discovery isn’t as attainable. And while my instincts drive me toward the creepy, absurd shit, you might find the same gratification sourcing old My Little Pony collectors content, or something of the like...
I’ll let you use your imagination… But I did find a link that happens to combine both old-school web design language and horror imagery at this link.
Organize ur space, organize ur mind
The parallel cannot be understated. A clean hive is a clean mind. Do yourself, and your house guests, a solid and revitalize the swag of your room. Hey, you go deep enough you might even find that journal you thought you lost forever.
Crack that book back open
There’s a self-affirming satisfaction in returning to a book that temporarily lost its mojo, especially when the reason was day-to-day distractions rather than it being a dud. My personal principles on the dearness of time tell me to drop any books that I don’t enjoy within the first 30 pages. You do you though.
Waving hi to friends in the sky
You thought I meant birds? That’s base level stuff. You discover so much when you look up. Some things, almost as inscrutable as the fugly-beautiful cacti down below. Like any half cogent individual, I find this best accomplished on a walk, especially on trails hospitable to the treasures of sky and earth.
Thanks for indulging today’s listicle; trust that this format will return (artist process exploration + misc list). But for now I’ve distilled today’s into a TikTok if that’s of any interest to you.
To conclude I’ve laid out a few more of the highlights from Jane’s creative insight on Autostraddle.
“When I write a character, I try to write them somewhere between 60 to 80% fully formed and then the other 20 to 40% comes from the human being I’m collaborating with.”
“I tried not to let my preconceived ideas I had during the years I spent preparing get in the way of the reality of being on set. (...) It’s semiotics. You have to very simply see what is in front of you and discover what it means for this thing that you’ve been planning for so long.”
“I think there’s something comforting in seeing an extreme representation of a feeling that you’ve always had, a feeling where desire and horror get caught together in a mouse trap. It’s a comfort and you seek it out. (...) darkness is like a hug”